Smooth Criminal

I can't stop raving about my green smoothies. Seriously. I'm obsessed. The past two weeks, there have only been three days where I have not had a smoothie. They are so easy and I genuinely feel amazing. And, I always thought people might be a little off when they said this about eating more leafy greens, but the whites of my eyes ARE so much whiter. I was shocked, I especially noticed when I threw some makeup on to greet the husband on his return from a work trip this yesterday. Hot Tamale.

I've definitely been taking some creative license with my smoothies, but hey! That's what's so great about the smoothies. My absolute favorite one right now is using lemons and pineapple. However, next week I will be switching it up some and throwing in some fresh berries in there. Woo Hoo.

So confession: I haven't weighed in since Tuesday. On Tuesday, I was thrilled with the numbers on the scale. However, it's been a stressful week, plus I'm home with my parents for Easter and I have eaten so much food today and I know that it will just going to do down from here. But I did go for a walk with my sweet pup twice this week, and trust that I will be doing it every single day this week leading up to the big weigh-in on Thursday. I desperately want to be down by 5 pounds this week. I aim to challenge myself to this each w/i for the next two months....which is how much longer this competition will continue.

More seriousness..... I've decided that I need to kick my ass in gear so I can conceive when it's that time, and all the studies show that women that have a healthy body weight have an easier time conceiving. While I have no reason to be concerned about my fertility, my husband and I have decided to do some genetic counseling because of some crazy mutant chromosomes I'm carrying around and will most likely do a round of IVF later this year. I'm setting up a consultation in a few weeks to talk about it with a medical professional, but I've decided that I'd like to be down 30 lbs if any implantation does happen. So..... there's that. I'm in serious baby mode... crazy, insane, I'malmost30andIdon'thaveababyandIneedonenoworImaydie, baby mode. So this will hopefully serve as a good dose of motivation, even though I've said that like, about everything. So we'll see. But right now, I'm pleased with how things are going. I'm incredibly optimistic. And I am glad to have all of this off my chest. Now.... family time.

Have a wonderfully blessed Easter. Christ the Lord is Risen!

Hiatus Makes the Fat Grow Fatter

Wow. Not only did I take a hiatus from writing in my blog here, I clearly took a hiatus from eating like a smart, rational person. Oh good lord. Well, let's recap the 7 weeks, because I think it's been at least that long, if not longer, that I've given an update on process.

So, one of the fabulous ladies I am doing this whole "Biggest Loser" challenge with went to NYC on vacation a few weeks ago. It happened to fall on one of our weigh-in weeks. Rather than change our calendar, we just decided to skip the one weigh-in. Our rationale was that it would be a whole month that we'd have to work out, eat right, and then come back in and have lost a ton of weight and be really excited and motivated. That sounds good......in theory. In practice, it did not work out the way we envisioned. Three out of the four of us gained weight... the fourth didn't gain, but didn't lose either. I gained 5.5 lbs. I was so upset with myself. I gave myself a stern talking to and resolved to do better.

This happened March 17th. Two weeks later, I lost 2 lbs. Today was our 6th weigh-in.... another 2lbs down. So, I've almost made up for my 5.5 gain, being only 1.5 lbs away from the lowest I've been in the competition. I'm still at a net loss, so that's good. However, my goal is to be 5 lbs down at the next weigh-in.....and I have a secret weapon.

Are you ready?

Green smoothies!!!!! I have been meaning to start making smoothies for a while now, and just haven't gotten off my butt to do it. My breaking point? I was recorded giving a presentation in class and had to watch it to write a 1-pg self critique. I couldn't bear to look at myself. I have learned, in years of being chubby, which angles flatter me in still photos and I have mastered looking good in a picture. However, in the video, that doesn't so

much work. So, I decided that something MUST be done.

I went to Farm Fresh, got some kale, parsley, mixed berries, lemons, grapes, flax seed.....I've been doing research online and printed off some yummy recipes. I have had one each day this week for breakfast. Monday my smoothie consisted of: a little more than a cup of kale, a cup of frozen mixed berries, 1/2 a banana, flax seed, and 1 cup of water. I was SO hungry 2 hours later. The next day, I made a lemon and parsley shake and added a cup of almond milk, and that sustained me a lot longer. I can't wait to come up with new recipes to try next week!

My smoothies haven't been this pretty of a green, but darn close. And so easy to make and drink while I'm getting ready. I have been really pleased and it usually sustains me until lunch. I still struggle with what I eat when I get home, I need to start bringing a healthy snack with me to work and eating it on the way home.

Also, I've recently become addicted to these:

They are chips that are made from brown rice. They are so so so good. They

have tons of flavors, but my absolute favorite is this Sweet Chili flavor. It's so good. I won't allow myself to buy them anymore because I can't control myself... I eat the entire bag. They are so good. They are "heath" food and all, but like I told my friend megacom, nothing is healthy when you eat an entire bag.

So all in all, things are back on track. I took a giant detour, but I'm focused and can see the light again. And I promise not to be neglectful of you, my loyal 3 people that I'm pretty sure read this, again.

Not Witty Enough For This Today

Soooo.... I don't think I'm going to hit my goal of 235 by next Monday. Not that I'm not going to try very hard to hit it. Mainly because any second now Aunt Flow will be knock-knock-knock on my uterus and I am concerned that I'm going to be all bloaty and water-retentiony and it's going to temporarily artificially inflate my weight. Which is sad because I finally picked out what I wanted to get for my prize! I want circus tickets. I really really want to go to the circus this year. Maybe Joe will let me extend my 'deadline' to March 4.... even though I came up with the whole weight deadline thing anyway. I don't want to be easy on myself though, I want to be tough. But we'll see. I'll keep you posted.

Also, on a whim, I took a picture of myself in my bra & panties. WOAH, tmi I know. But I just wanted to see if I look like what I think I look like. And I gotta say, I look pretty dang hot for someone who weights 237.5 pounds. I briefly thought about posting it but all 5 people that read this blog either work with me or used to work with me so I figured that's probably not a good idea.

So yesterday was the fondue-birthday-celebration hosted by my amazingly talented friend Emily (you should read her blog, it is pretty amazing) and I did well. I didn't gorge myself on chocolate and ate a lot of apples and carrots. And drank wine. But that was the best part. =)

This weekend will be a true test of wills. I have two baby showers to attend (one is a dessert party - eek!) and the other is a luncheon. I'm also going up to RVA and my girlfriends there are taking me out and I believe they intend to get me plastered. So I gotta be careful so the 3 lbs I've been so desperate to lose don't come back in just one evening of cavorting. :)

Ahhh, You Better Take Me Home Tonight

..... down beside that red firelight... you gonna let it all hang out... fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go 'round!!!

This has been my new anthem since Puck sang it to Lauren Zizes last week on Glee. Zizes is also my new personal hero. She's a big, beautiful gal and she's making Puck work for her love and attention. She's not swooning over him, the hottest guy in school, because he is giving her attention. She's making him EARN her affection. Rock on girl. Rock on. I wish I had an ounce of that self-esteem and worth. I mean, I never swooned over guys just because they announced their affect. But I also never thought boys actually liked me because I was not as pretty as my friends so I kind of avoided romantic relationships. It's complicated. ah.

But I'm still down, so I'm very excited. If I'm down 3 more pounds by February 28th, I get a present. I don't know what kind of present, but my husband has promised me some sort of delightful gift if I hit that milestone. Then, on March 1, I must establish a new milestone to reach by March 31 and then I get another present. Oh, the possibilities! :)

This weekend was rough, my husband is a bad influence. We ate fried chicken and ate Chinese food too. I gained a few lbs from that, but dropped back down to 238, which is where I was at my last weigh in. That's such a scary number. I hadn't really been posting my weight, but I decided if would be motivation to post it so I can watch the number get smaller and smaller and smaller.

I also feel like it's an appropriate time to announce my goal. I would like to weigh 170 pounds. That is my gigantic goal. 170 sounds like such a nice number. I haven't been 170 since, oh... like... 8th or 9th grade. Getting to my goal weight of 170 means I will lose 70 pounds. It's totally doable, I just need to be much more careful and aware of what I put in my mouth. I'm getting there. It's more of a change of lifestyle than anything else, and slowly but surely I'm getting there.

But that can be saved for another post.

soy un perdidor, i'm a loser, baby...

I sit here, on my lunch break eating a carrot and doing Bugs Bunny impersonations. (What's up, doc? smack*smack*smack). I'm feeling free-spirited and light hearted and oh-so-happy. Por Qué? Because I'm a LOSER baby! yeaaaaaaaah! Today was weigh-in #3. I am down four pounds from my unfortunately gain two weeks ago; six pounds overall. I have lost 2.26% of my weight. AWESOME! :) I am so happy. I'm close to dancing in the street.

I've been oh-so-good recently. Calorie counting like a crazy person. Turning down beer to run on the tread mill. RUNNING ON THE TREADMILL!! There's the big one. I've been running on the treadmill for at least 20 minutes 2 nights a week. I am trying to bump it up to 3, then 4, then maybe even 5.

I haven't been drinking water like a good girl though. Did you know that if you leave a plastic cup full of water on your desk over the weekend, mold spores will start to grow? Yeah, me either. So I trashed that cup and just haven't brought another one to the office yet. I'm going to try to get back on the water train tomorrow, making sure to take much better care of my water vessels.

In other news, I really have no other news. I'm lacking in wit and humor today, but I just wanted to share my exciting news. I am splurging on Chinese food with my husband tonight, so I already put that in the calorie counter and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be, so that's not terrible. I have to be really really really good the next few days because on Wednesday, I will be another year older and one of my fantastic co-worker friends is throwing me a fondue celebration with all the gals at work. So I will be eating lots of cheese and chocolate and fruit and pretzels and marshmallows.......... yum. *drool*

Knee's a' Knockin'

Last Thursday, there was a strange sound reverberating around the office. It echoed off the dormer windows and clattered around between the cubes. It lasted for a good solid two hours...... up until the point it was time to weigh-in. Yep, it was the sounds of my knees knocking together, terrified of what would happen when I stepped on that evil white tile.

It had been a bad seven days leading up to weigh-in. I was PMS-eating like a crazed person and had one of those months where you just can't be satisfied when you eat, no matter what it is. Coupled with an exhaustion I'm not really used to, I was lazy and ate like crap. I was terrified of what this week's weigh-in would be like.

Rightly so, it turns out. I gained two pounds. I was very disappointed, because when I had weighed-in at home that morning, I was down 1.5, and I didn't eat all day up until the weigh-in (not on purpose, I just had a busy morning and forgot about breakfast). I was the only one who gained weight and I dutifully put my $2 in the pot. I blame a lot of factors, but the one I blame the most is not drinking water. I always feel better when I drink water and it is my opinion that if I drink water like a good girl, I will be down again next week.

I also wasn't diligent about my lunch last week. I went out a few times and fell off of the lean-cuisine wagon. Well, I'm back on it today. Yesterday I had a cup of soup for lunch and a SmartOnes for dinner, topped off by a bowl of Chocolate Cheerios for desert. In a moment of weakness, I ate some chips too, and paid for it this morning. I felt bloaty and sick when I woke up and I was up 2 lbs when I weighed in at home. Thirty-two ounces of water I feel better, and I'm determined to drink another 32 oz of water before I leave here today. Today I had my SmartOne and a yogurt... yum.

Also, I'm working on accountability. My darling husband got me a DROID X for Valentine's Day. Yay! So I downloaded the My Fitness Pal app and have been trying to record everything I eat. When I get to work in the morning, I add my oatmeal AND my microwave lunch/yogurt so I feel like my fate is already written. Also, when I went to a super bowl party, I loaded up on fruits and veggies and a calico bean chili instead of all the crazy other stuff. I did eat two cookies and some amazing nacho cheesey dip, but I didn't pig out on bad food. So I was proud.

I'm still not pleased with myself on my exercise. I wanted to get up this morning but I fell back to sleep.... good thing my body naturally wakes up at 7:15 or I would've been super late for work. Tonight I'm going to make a very concerted effort to run on the treadmill when I get home. Fingers crossed that I'm successful!!!

I Choose My Choice

You know what they say. Life is all about choices. And losing weight is really all about choices. Well der. Of course you're going to lose more weight if you eat veggies, fruit, and complex carbs instead of cheesy bacon ranch fries (mmmmmmm). So, this is a posting about choices. Because over the past two weeks, I've made some choices I'm extrememly proud of .... here are two of them.

Let's start off with the ones I'm proud of. Might as well revel in my shining moments first. Let's see... first there was January 19th. I got up on time, got dressed, and was out the door to work on time (a victory in itself)! I drove by McDonalds and was craaaaaaving a McChicken biscuit and diet Coke..... but the line was long and I had oatmeal in my pocketbook and decided not to make myself late to work getting a biscuit. I got on the interstate and starting thinking..... I have a Starbucks giftcard. I could go to the one by the office. I could call by boss & see if she wants a coffee too (she's an addict!) and then I could justfy my being late. Well, I talked myself out of that, too. I hadn't been on time for work in months. I was going to take this small victory, eat my oatmeal, and bathe in my success of the day. And I am so proud a I did. I was on time for work and saved myself several hundred calories for breakfast. WooHoo!

Next success to talk about: January 28th - Moe's: Moe's very well be the happiest place on Earth. Well, that's a stretch. But it's delicious. I haven't had Moe's in probably... oh... 9 months, maybe longer. I love Moe's. This particular day, I was craving chicken nachos from Moe's. I could almost taste the cheese. My mouth was watering. I was torn... be good, be bad.... be good, be bad. I called my husband, and of course his answer was "good, always good". The girl in the cube beside me suggested to be good for lunch, and then splurge on dinner. I finally resigned myself to be good. I ate my Healthy Choice cafe steamers lunch... the Mediterranean Veggies one. It was tasty - nothing compared to Moe's but still not bad. I paired it with a creamy cup of Yoplait peach yogurt. Yeah boy, am I glad I did that. I just looked up the nutritional information on calorieking.com. The calorie count for the Billy Barou with ckn at Moe's is a whopping 1,495 calories. Holy Moly, that is all you need in a day. Meanwhile, I sat at my desk writing this blog, hoping to get back into this, and consumed a mere 395 - 175 from my yogurt and 220 from my healthy choice. I am feeling a little cocky. And slim.

I still have days I make horrible choices. My choice today of having a chicken philly with waffle fries may not have been super, but I balanced it with a grilled chicken ceaser for dinner. I had a Cherry Coke Zero with dinner, but I had two glasses of water with lunch. Moderation and balance. Moderation and balance. This shall be my mantra.

Next hurdle to tackle: adding excercise in.

BL Week 1 & 2

So, our very own Biggest Loser competition got off to a great start. On January 6th, 2011, we all scampered into the bathroom, scale and change of clothes in hand. We agreed before Christmas break that we would each wear leggings and a university t-shirt to be "even". We were praying no one from the other office suites would come into the bathroom. So, armed with a clip board and a excel spreadsheet I made, we dutifully wrote down what each weighed. To my surprise, only 34 lbs separated the heaviest from the lightest - I thought it would be a much larger spread (I seriously under-estimated what one friend weighed, she looks so tiny!). We set up a bi-weekly weigh in schedule, so we all set off determined to see less weight on the scales in two weeks.

The Monday (which happened to be MLK, Jr. day) before the impending Thursday weigh-in, we had a last chance workout, just like they do on the NBC tv show. We met up on campus with one of the cops who we're friends with. He is a personal trainer and agreed to work with us, so we were thrilled. He worked us! We did cardio and weight training, and I left feeling pretty good, especially considering I had to wake up and drive to campus by 9 am on my day off!!

On Thursday, we all delayed weighing-in as long as we could. Talk about anxiety. We made sure the halls were clear and scampered back down to the bathroom, changed clothes, and had a staring contest until someone finally (graciously) volunteered to go first. The scale flashed while it was calculating (OoOoOoOo).... DOWN THREE POUNDS!! Cheers were shouted, congratulations all around. Our first victim contestant succeeded... would we all?

One by one, the rest of us climbed on the small, white, potential harbinger of bad news. One by one we were greeted with happy news! The first three of us who climbed aboard the small white tile of doom lost THREE POUNDS! We're awesome. Finally, it was the final turn. The results: SIX POUNDS! Way to go! Our first w-i, and we were tremendously successful. We happily changed back into work attire and giddily went back to the office. Week 1: Major Success.

So, here are my stats for week one:

Weight lost: 3 lbs

% lost: 1.23%

BMI: down .5

Hoping this momentum continues!

What the what?

Wow. I haven't written since 2009. I'm either a bad blogger or a bad dieter. I'm going to go with both. I never did do that fad diet that I said I was going to do, although I did make the soup..... which is still in my freezer. I guess that means it's been in the freezer for 16 months. I should probably throw that away. Hm....

I'm still struggling with losing weight. I start something & I'm really good at it for a week and then kerplat. I'm back to binge eating and eating a ridiculous amount of calories a week. Since 9/09, my weight crept up about 10 lbs. SERIOUSLY?! Ugh. For a while, J and I weighed ourselves religiously each morning and wrote it down on a sheet of paper taped to the bathroom wall. This was both encouraging and depressing. On the days that my weight went down I was ecstatic.... however, it made me terrified to ever eat out, thanks to the 5 lbs that Olive Garden was guaranteed to pack on. But we got lazy and that hasn't happened in a long time.

I also joined a fitness thing at work, but I was traveling a lot for work and once I forgot my sneakers so I couldn't log my runs, and blah blah blah, I dropped the ball and didn't work out the prescribed number of times that month and was kicked out of the program. LAME.

Well, I've determined 2011 will be my year. And I won't be alone. I have an amazing support team. I have joined ranks with three other fabulous ladies in my office who want to lose weight in 2011. And, my loyal reader, money is on the LINE! We created our own Biggest Loser contest. We are weighing in twice a month and it's $10 a weigh-in. The person that loses the highest percentage of weight at the end wins the pot. We are encouraging each other, making sure we stay on the straight and narrow, and we're in it for the long haul. Round one started in January and will go through May. We may do another one from May-December; we'll see how the first one goes! Wish us luck!

Yes, I've Been Called Both Cheesey AND Nutty

So the past three days, my lunch has consisted of a baggie of almonds (about a heaping handful) and a WW string cheese. Today I threw in frozen grapes for some fruit action, because I haven't had much of that. Lunch has been deliciously filling, right up until the time I got home. Of course then it's supper time! I have been super hungry at night, after dinner. HURRAY for WW desserts, although I've been eating a single serving bag of chips at night too. But I'm still dropping the poundage I put on last month, which is excellent.

On Tuesday I'm starting a 7 day cleansing diet that my co-workers told me about (although I will most likely only make it 5 days - day 6 and 7 I will be traveling for work and no access to the stuff I'll need to eat). I realize it's a fad diet, but it's all fruit and vegetables, so I can't see where it will do any harm, and those who I've know to have tried it have had a lot of success. So if nothing else, it will jump start the weight loss. The way I see it, at the best, I'll lose 10 pounds. At the worst, I've stuffed myself full of veggies for nothing - although my body will probably be happy with the veggies, so it's a wash! Fingers crossed, all will go well. :) I just have to figure out what I will feed the Beau while I'm doing this, because there is no way he will be up for doing this with me. The man likes to eat!

So I'm excited about this venture - I'm hoping it will give me the jump start that I will need! I will report back soon!

YAY Labor Day Weekend!

Water, Water, Everywhere.... And Now I've Got to Drink

So, I'm back to drinking water on a regular basis. I'd drifted away from my 32 ounces of water daily, but I decided it's a habit I'm picking up again. It doesn't taste as good as Diet Coke, but it doesn't leave me bloated either. And water is so refreshing! I actually enjoy drinking my giant glass of water everyday. AND, I have to walk downstairs and down the hall to get to the water machine (I get free water out of the coke machine in the dining room - ROCKIN'!!!), so it's a healthy little walk to break up my day too! w00t!!

Something else I did.... I signed up for my work's Fitness for Life program. There is a whole list of stuff I have to do. To start off with, I have a health screening next week that I have to do. I'm a little nervous about it. PLUS, I signed up a little late and all the early morning spots were taken, so I have to wait until 11:00 am to do mine.... so I cannot eat ANYTHING until lunch time. I am going to be sooooooo hungry. My office better be prepared, because I am Cranky-Pants McGhee when I don't eat. I'm a little bit nervous about what they will find in my test results, but I've never had the cholesterol checked, or my gluclose levels, or anything, so it will be really good that I get this done.

Along with the program, I have to work out 10 times a month. I either have to sign in/out at the HR office to prove I did my time, or there were a list of other options. I chose to buy a Nike+ to go with my iPod. This way I can print out my times and dates that I work out. I have to give it to HR monthly. I am almost going to the 5:15 work out sessions that my work has. So, as the school year starts, I am determined to start a program and stick with it. This lasts for 6 months. I get a cash reward if I am successful in the program. So, here goes nothing! All I have to lose is... well... 60 pounds. haha.

UUGGGHHHH!!!

Oh goodness gracious me. Why is this SO HARD! On so many different reasons.

I had lost almost TEN POUNDS! Go me! Then we had a little bit of sadness when the Beau's mother died. It was a tremendously hard week... that was one special woman, and I already considered her my mother-in-law, even though we aren't married yet. Well.... we are from the South.... and people like to make you a lot of food when someone dies in the south. Well, I gained FIVE freaking pounds this month between the week I spent in the hospital with his family, and then with the funeral. But, the way I see it, these lbs are just a little grief weight, and should come off pretty quickly now that people aren't waving fried chicken and cakes and cookies and banana pudding under my nose.

BUT, off of that... why are the only food options for those people visiting loved ones in the hospital fried, greasy, and nothing you would eat on a regular basis if left to your own devices? I really think they are just trying to create more patients for the 10th floor (cardiac!).

But the past few days have been better, the weight is coming back off. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll finish up the month where I started, but if I can just break even, I will be estatic.

Last night I followed in the footsteps of my girl H, and I checked out the fitness TV section of OnDemand. I decided it would be fun to try the Carmen Electra strip tease workout. Well, not so much. I am not cute enough, nor do I have the ability to move my hips all sexy-like to be good at that workout. Although, I did demonstrate my workout to the Beau (fully clothed, of course), and he told me "not bad". But I think he's obligated to tell me that!

So, I'm going back to Jillian. She's the best. Plus, I spent $30 on her DVDs, so I need somethign to show for that. :) And my eating is getting so much better now that I'm back in my own house on my own schedule and can cook fresh foods.

So, fingers crossed! Here's hoping for a good, healthy week. :)

Progess Tracking

Well it's July! My daily weight tracker is slowly moving down, so that is a good thing. I've lost 8ish lbs since May. Which actually doesn't seem like a huge accomplishment in a 2 1/2 month time span, but I will take what I can get. Another 2 lbs and I will be in the 220s, and can work on knocking those down too.

I've been working out, which I am happy about. I am attempting to do a Jillian Michael's workout DVD, but it kicks my ass. Tonight I just couldn't bear 30 minutes of her, so I went for a 1.10 mile walk/jog instead. Tomorrow I'll have to put in my time with Jillian though.

Also, I'm looking into a personal trainer. I *NEED* someone to hold me accountable and kick my ass and not take my whining. A friend of a friend goes to one near my work, so my friend is investigating cost for me. If it's reasonable, I am all about it. What can it hurt?

I also make and take my lunch every day. That's helping a lot....although - secret - I totally was having a bad day and today and went downstairs to get some fries from the grill. It's so bad having that place in my building... their fries are amazing. But, the weight is looking pretty good, I'm hoping to be another .5-1 lb down again tomorrow. :) We'll see if the weight fairy is good to me or not!

Happy dieting...... (oxymoron?)

The Post With Two Parts

This posting has two parts:
Part I: in which I tell you how well I did (diet-wise) during a dinner out last night.
Part II: in which I take out my frustrations on the women's clothing industry.

Part I:
So, yesterday was the Beau's 27th birthday. I told him I'd take him out to eat anywhere that he would like to go. So we went to Texas Steakhouse. I ordered a 12 oz steak w/ baked potato and a salad. Now, I realize I could've been much more healthy with the sides, but baked potatoes are kind of my weakness, and I love them. But back to the story, I ate my salad and the rolls when they were brought to the table, but when my steak and potato were brough to the table, I *immediately* cut them both in half and only ate 1/2 of each.... then boxed the other 1/2 to take home. I was mildly proud of myself. Granted, I could've gotten 2 sides of steamed veggies, or gotten a vinegarette to put on my salad, but I was very proud that I didn't gorge myself. Baby steps, baby steps.

This morning, I was down 1 pound from yesterday. Yay! :) This makes me 1.5 lbs down for the month so far - not as good as I would like, but I'm working on it!

Part II:
So, as I mentioned, yesterday was the Beau's birthday. I got it in my head that I wanted to buy something sexy-ish to wear out to dinner last night. I was really just looking for a hott tank top or something. However, the garishness that I was faced gave me the strangest mix of emotions - disgust, disappointment, self-loathing, annoyance, frustration, sadness, and a twinge of hate, just for good measure.

Seriously, what is up with those people who design women's clothes for sizes 14 and up? I was wandering through the "woman's" section at JCP yesterday, and I was slammed in the face with Alfred Dunner seperates (which I won't be interested in for about another 45 years) and a collection of the most off-the-wall, in-your-face, loud, obscene patterns ever. It's like they figure we'll just throw the most outrageous patterns and colors on a shirt, and the public's sensory system will be so overwhelmed, they won't even realize how fat this person really is.

And really, there is no originality. It's the same basic shirt in 17 different patters or color tones. Really, it can't take that much more material to make a shirt for someone with a DD bra size than a C bra size. Or someone with a little bit wider shoulder span. And if it's really a huge deal, take a page from the wal*mart book - add 3 or 4 more dollars onto the clothes that are over a certain size (they do this in the men's section for extended sizes, fyi).

It just frustrates me that I have to look like a circus tent b/c designers assume since I can't wear a size 8 I want to hide my body. Seriously, I have a great rack and love to show it off. I love some of the looks out there that are unavailable in sizes over "L". WHY PEOPLE. WHY.

Okay. Now that that's out. It does give me more motivation to keep losing weight. Even though I've said that for ages. Maybe it's time to be really serious. Day by day.

Over & Out.

Wow.....

Wow, so it's June. Which means I haven't written in 6 months almost. Clearly, I'm a slacker. What's going on in my life now... I finally found a full time job, and have moved to the Tidewater area of Virginia. The Beau and I are enjoying living together, but it's brought out the worst eating habits in the both of us. We lived in food gluttony for about 2 months, going out to eat a lot and snacking after dinner. HELLO AGAIN, weight. AK. I am having none of this. I read an article that couples tend to gain 10 lbs (EACH!!) the first year they live together - well, he's definitely hit that mark, and I almost did. Wake up call again, back on the fitness plan.

I did buy 3 Jillian Michaels work-out DVDs, plus a cookbook called "Cook Yourself Skinny" with lots of great recipies. I've been eating really well, and have been losing some weight. Yay. I hope to be 30 lbs light by October, when I will be a bridesmaid. I'll keep you posted! =) I promise

Back In The Saddle Again, Round II

So. Wow. This is awkward. So, I haven't written in a while. I also.... man... I also have not been on my diet at all. This whole challenge my boyfriend and I entered into kind of fell flat. I gained almost 10 pounds, and he gained more than that. But, we've both turned a corner, I think. At any rate, I've gotten uber-serious.

I was very upset with myself for gaining the weight back after I worked so hard with my Emmalou to loose it. But, being temporarily with my parents made me revert to my pre-teen days (when I had crazy high metabolism could eat what I wanted) and just being lazy at home in general. My mom made amazingly delicious foods that I ate waaay to large portion sizes of. Also, I've been stressed out a lot about finding a full-time job, plus on the road every weekend to see the Beau. I just haven't made good choices.

So, I decided to go on weight-watchers. I sort of did it last year with my former co-workers, but I didn't follow it too tightly because I was training for a 5k and swimming 2x a week, plus was on a self imposed fast food restriction... hence the loosing 17 lbs. Well, I'm going full force this time. I'm going to meetings with my friend Christina. I'm in the middle of my 2nd week doing it. And I have some exciting news. At my first weigh-in..............

..............I LOST 2.4 pounds! I was pretty stoked. My plan is to lose 2 lbs a week up until May... I have a wedding to go to that I'd love to be 30 lbs lighter for... so hopefully I will be able to reach that goal.

I'm also adding mini-goals each week. My first week's goals were to watch portion sizes, be good about tracking points, and make healthy choices. I was successful with that.... next week's goals are to drink more water and add running back into the mix.

Also, the ladies at my church have started a work-out group on Tues/Thurs. That is really nice, I've been going to that. It's laid back but still makes me sweat.

My biggest concern is actually getting the job (even though I really really really want it). I'm worried I won't stick everything, since I'll be going to a new job and I'll be living in a new place, and will be setting new routines and the like, but since the Beau is supportive of the losing weight, plus he needs to lose weight, I think it will be good. I just have to find a WW group to go to down there, which shouldn't be a problem at all... I'd really like to find a running group or something down there to - or at least a running buddy - so I have something that will make me run.

All in all, I have high hopes for this go 'round. Plus, you never know, I may need to be planning for a wedding soon, so I might as well get a jump start on the losing weight to look amazing in my wedding dress, right? :)

Over & Out - E

Struggles....

Hello, hello! I have been very very neglectful of my blog lately. I am staying with my parents for a while, substitute teaching at my old high school until I find a full-time job (long story, better served for a different blog) so I don't get on the internet as often as I do when I have high speed internet (satelite internet is painfully slow).... sorry about that!

I have also not been very good about keeping up with stuff in my weight loss challenge - I have lost 2 lbs. I do have an excuse - not a good one, but I have one! I left my running shoes at the Beau's house so my only options to work out were my Reefs or high heels. I did pull out this ski thing that my mom has and tried to work out while I was watching TV one day, but I think it needed some WD-40 because it didn't really work that well.

But now I have my running shoes, so I can go work out..... yay! I do have a big problem when I am home all day - last week I subbed every day an I ate SIGNIFICANTLY less that I do when I don't have a sub-day. So I need to control that, I definitely need to work on my "bored eating". But today I've been grading papers for my dad, so I've actually been pretty good. I had a piece of toast w/ pb for breakfast, some s'ghetti for lunch.... I did have a snack of a brownie with whipped cream on top, but I am proud of myself for not gorging myself with food like I did two weeks ago! I'm too distrated with doing algebra, which I haven't used in quite a number of years!

So, to sum everything up, I am trying hard to get back on track, and hopefully I'll have good news to report in the coming days!

E

Back In The Saddle Again

So, the beau and I went for a jog tonight. I wanted to be normal and jog around the neighborhood together (i mapped out a course on runthere.com and everything!) but he wanted to go to the soccer park and run... so I obliged, since he was actually going with me. It was so ITCHY!! Especially since the grass was fresh cut and I couldn't find my long pants so I was wearing shorts. But I digress. I don't know how far we ran... we did 4 laps around side-by-side soccer fields. I looked up soccer field dimensions to see how far we ran, but apparently, there is no "set" soccer field dimension... there is a min for length and width, that varies 30 yards length wise and 50 yards width. Next time, I guess we need to go with a pedometer. At the least, we did 1600 yards (0.909091 miles) and at the most we did 2640 yards (1.5 miles). I am going to go with the maximum because it took us almost 18 minutes to do it, and I only walked about a a lap and a half, and I know I'm not that slow. Even walking I can do better than an 18 minute mile! :)

So I feel really good about myself. :) At Em's insistence, I am going to start training for the Richmond 8k. The website has a great training program to follow, which starts Sept 22, so that gives me plenty of time to get back in shape so I can really use the training program to work on my time (the training schedule is set up for people who are just starting out with their running). I would really love to get my time down. When I ran the Race for the Cure 5k, I did it in 45 minutes, averaging about a 14.something minute mile. I'd love to get down to a 12 minute mile (hey, baby steps! :} )

It's time to get SERIOUS! :) I need to surround myself with pictures of the beach to keep me inspired :)

Really Bad Weekend

So, I went a little hog wild over the weekend. Tsk, tsk, I know. But I'm back on the straight and narrow I think. I didn't gain any weight, at least, so that is good. I am waiting for the Beau to get home, and I'm going to try go convince him to go running with me, because he's been complaining about gaining weight too. That's really the only update that I have today. For lunch I had delicious blackberries and cottage cheese. For breakfast, I had a chick-fil-a sandwhich that we got for free yesterday... probably wasn't the best choice, but it was plain and delicious.

Sugar-Free Plums, Dancing In My Head

So, last night I fell asleep fairly early and was in a deep slumber... suddenly I started dreaming about Coldstone... yummy, yummy Coldstone. Suddenly, I was chastising myself in my dream, saying I couldn't eat Coldstone because I was trying to lose weight... so I started dreaming about the SmartOnes dessert. Specifically the chocoloate chip cookie dough one. Apparently I won't even let myself indulge in my little dream world. This is a good sign, no?

Which reminds me... I guess I should go grocery shopping.

I was supposed to go to Seal Team training with Em today but it was rainy and messy so we didn't go. However, I went to campus today to volunteer some, and I parked as far away as I could and walked all over the campus instead of driving around, so I was proud of myself for that. I am hoping it won't rain tomorrow so I can get outside and run.

I got on the scale yesterday and was 226... a pound down from 227, which is what I was at the Beau's house. But, two different scales... but it's a promise. Especially since my acheiving my goal sort involves losing a lb a week ......I've been good the past few days, although I did have one minor indescresion today - I knew after Sept 1 I was going to be super serious about the eating thing, plus I knew dinner wouldn't be until late and I was so so hungry, so I stopped to pick up an order of Crab Rangoon from the chinese food store because a.) I love them and b.) it was my last hurrah. It was a quick, yummy snack, but I know it was ridiculously not healthy. But.... it made me happy.

I found out that my friend bought "The Flat Belly Diet", and I was really excited, because I learned all about it on the Rachel Ray show and I am waiting for it to come to B&N so I don't have to pay $40 for it.... well, she is going to copy the grocery list and recipies for me to get a kick start on it. I must say, though, I am a little worried that the plan won't keep me satisfied, but we'll see! :)

So, almost a week gone of moving towards being healthy. I'm feeling good about this. *fingers crossed*. I'm going to kick ass. :)